I was initially excited for the colder months, despite being afflicted with seasonal depression, due to how rancid summer was.

Now, I wish for the heat and wet to return. My skin is cracking like a crème brûlée and my nose is consistently gushing blood. These afflictions are making it difficult to get anything done.

Once I get off of work, I am going to take repose in a sweltering bath. I'm going to get as moist as possible. I will snort Vaseline and coat myself in so much lotion that it will become my new epidermis.

DO NOT REPLY UNLESS YOU ARE EITHER INTERESTED IN COMMISSIONS OR HAVE LEGITIMATE QUESTIONS REGARDING COMMISSIONS

These are single subject, fullbody, full coloured character illustrations.

$1 per illustration.

I take payments via Venmo.

PM if interested.

Examples can be found below.

I will make nothing pornographic.

If you ask for porn, you will be blocked.

I do not care how long I go without food. I will not eat. I haven't worked hard enough to deserve food, and making commissions is not hard work. It's not real work at all. I'm just lazy.

Viewer be warned, this is some pretty heinous schazbah we're about to witness. This shits more real than Hellman's Mayonnaise and more rancid than expired Hellman's Mayonnaise.

Cow :)

Easy Pete, an easy vote.

Paid for by the Easy Pete for President Foundation

For this reason, I will be growing out my body hair, moving back to Oregon, and joining a Sasquatch commune.

I will dearly miss you all, but I need to be myself. I need true happiness.

I've decided to just outright cancel the collaboration. There wasn't too much interest in it, and I'm 100% positive nobody would have participated. There are better collabs to participate in anyway.

Stay lit, y'all.

Say hello to Gumpo