I was initially excited for the colder months, despite being afflicted with seasonal depression, due to how rancid summer was.

Now, I wish for the heat and wet to return. My skin is cracking like a crème brûlée and my nose is consistently gushing blood. These afflictions are making it difficult to get anything done.

Once I get off of work, I am going to take repose in a sweltering bath. I'm going to get as moist as possible. I will snort Vaseline and coat myself in so much lotion that it will become my new epidermis.