Originally posted this to Discuit, but I'll post it here too. I'd also like to thank everyone that talked me out of killing myself yesterday. It means a whole lot, and I'm sorry to those of you that I may have responded viciously to. Thank you for caring.

So, at the beginning of March, my now ex(Crito)broke up with me. It hurt initially, especially because I cared a whole lot about him, was there for him in his low moments, supported his interests and hobbies, etc. You know, the normal stuff you do in a relationship. We were still friends, but the friendship was extremely rocky still. Yesterday, I had a mental health scare. I'm out of it now and doing much better, but when I reached out for help from him he abandoned me. He blocked me and just turned his back on me. I'll admit that it stung. When you put so much time and effort into helping, caring about, and sacrificing for someone and they turn their back and run the opposite direction as soon as you need anything it's extremely painful.

However, I realized today that I am finally free and it feels good. I'm free from someone that wanted me to change for him but wouldn't change to benefit himself. I'm free from a 30 year old who acts like a 13 year old. I'm free from a man that escaped reality instead of rising to meet it, and then cried about it every time reality slapped him in the face. I'm free from someone that only cared about me when I did something or acted a certain way for him. I'm free from putting up with a backstabbing coward.

I am not an obligation. I will not stand to be treated like one, and he doesn't even deserve his friends if he's going to treat them the same way. Fuck him. I deserve better. I deserve to be loved.

If he'd rather spend all his time in his apartment playing FFXIV and wasting away instead of trying to make real improvements to his life, then I'll let him. Seriously, what's the point if him having all that money if he just wastes it and never does anything really fun?

I wish the best for him, I hope he can get out of his mental slumps and improve, but I'm not going to worry about him anymore. He doesn't deserve me. Him abandoning me was a blessing in disguise, because now I finally realize my self worth. I'm better than what he made me out to be.

I'm finally moving out of Wisconsin too. I'm heading somewhere I have a support network and real friends that love me. I deserve to be happy. I'm gonna make it.

In case he ever does read this, which I doubt he will. Dude, I wish you the best. I hope you achieve real happiness and self-improvement. I hope you realize your friends are more than just obligations. I hope you also GET FUCKING BENT, HOE